Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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