Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
