yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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