I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
