Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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