check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
