hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize