If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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