we're chasing vodka with high fives
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
