at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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