I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
