Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
