so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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