I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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