Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
