somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
