Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
