Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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