never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
