And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
