btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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