just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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