I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
