You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
