Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
