new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
