Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
