these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
