i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
