That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
