when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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