So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
