The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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