Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
