the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just had sex bonerless
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
