we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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