I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
