I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
