i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
