Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
