I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
