i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize