that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
