We named our party play list daddy issues
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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