what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize