Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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