Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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