I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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