a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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