been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
