That's intense
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize