I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
