I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize