Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
