why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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