Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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