Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you had me at cake vodka
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
