It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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