direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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