used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My cat gives me a boner
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize