I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
ok first of all what the fuck
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
