The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I want her autograph on my taint
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
