Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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