I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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