do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
