P.S. I can't hear my feet
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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