in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
