i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
this will be a night to untag.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
