so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize