you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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