Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
