She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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