My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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