Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
how does that bad decision feel?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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