Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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