Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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