weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she looked like the before picture.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize