I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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