You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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